Single, Never Married

October 30, 2010 § Leave a comment

Who Is Wonder Woman?

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I read a blog recently about the challenges of dating written by a single woman in her late 30’s. She mentioned that some study indicated that after age 40, her chances of becoming a victim of terrorism were greater than her chances of getting married. I just had to chime in on this topic because even though I am married, I have some strong thoughts on singledom.

Being single can be scary, especially for women, but there are definitely some advantages that are often taken for granted. The main advantage is freedom.

If you stay single, you have the freedom to be the person you want to be. You have complete autonomy to take a job in any location your path may take you. You can toil for as many hours as you feel you would like to without hearing objections. You can dress the way you’d like, decorate the way you’d like, listen to the music you like and cook the foods you like. To sum it up, being single allows you immense freedom to spend time the way YOU want to spend time and that can be extremely rewarding. But you have to look at it that way.

The secret to being happily single is to be productive, whatever being productive means to you. Many women, especially those that are in their mid-to-late 30’s feel they need to keep shopping for Mr. Right. They spend too much time feeling bad about not being married. Instead, use that time to be useful. Find a need, something that feels right and jump in. It may be career related, church related, craft related or even animal related. Recognize and develop your talents and find someone or something that could use your help. If you aren’t sure what you want to do, try things, experiment with different opportunities–take classes, attend seminars, volunteer at charitable organizations. You are only held back by what you are letting yourself be held back by.

Being single is not a waste of time or waste of life, it is just the opposite–it’s an opportunity to grow and experience and produce without the constraints that being married would impose.

Most importantly, never ever feel bad about being single. Don’t feel you need to make excuses for it or give anyone some type of explanation for it. In our culture of embracing diversity, embrace singlehood as you do your ethnicity or your religion–celebrate it, brag about it, enjoy it and make the best of it. Whatever you do– don’t waste it.

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